PLEASE help our beloved principal Dr. Pryor come up with some new pirate jokes!
What's the pirate movie rated? – Arrrr
What kind o' socks does a pirate wear? – Arrrrgyle
What's the problem with the way a pirate speaks? – Arrrrticulation
What’s a pirate pay to get his ears pierced? – a Buccaneer
Where does a pirate buy his clothes? – Arrrrmani
What was the pirate’s favorite class in school? – Arrrrt
What’s the pirate alphabet? – ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRrrrr
What does a pirate think happens at the end of time? Arrrrmageddon.
What's a pirate's favorite food? Arrrrrtichokes.
What's a pirate's favorite basketball move? Jump hook.
How do pirates make their money? By hook or by crook.
Why couldn't the young pirate see the R-rated movie? There was no parrot-al guidance.
Who's the pirate's favorite actress? Diane Cannon.
Why did the pirate refuse to say, "Aye, Aye, Captain"? Because he's only got one eye.
What's the pirate's favorite restaurant? Well duh…. Long John Silver's.
How could the pirate acquire the ship so cheaply? Because it was on sail.
Why did the pirate not learn how to bowl? He had a severe hook.
What has 12 arms, 12 legs and 12 eyes? A dozen pirates.
What was Bluebeard's wife's name? Peg.
When boxing, what's a pirate's favorite punch? Left hook.
What's a pirate's least favorite animal? A beaver.
If Blackbeard played sports, who would he play for? Tampa Bay Buccaneers or Pittsburg Pirates.
What does a pirate put on toast? Jelly Roger.
Where do pirates buy their sketch pads? Arrrrrrrt Supply Store.
What is a buccaneer? Pretty high price to pay for corn.
Where does a pirate store his workout clothes? Davy Jone's Locker.
What kind of look does a pirate give right before walking off the ship? Plank stare.
How does a pirate tell his matey he'll watch for him? I'll keep an eye out for you.
When did the pirate fall in love with his girlfriend? The moment he laid eye on her.
What's a pirates second choice for a job? To be an arrrrchitect.
A pirate meets up with one of his old friends. The friend says "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do ye mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The friend says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball took off me leg, but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine."
"Yeah," says the friend, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and me hand was cut off, but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the friend, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them pooped in me eye."
"So?" replied the friend, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird poop!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to me hook yet."
Pirate keyboard;
A pirate meets his friend on the street, and he's wearing a paper towel on his head.
The friend asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"
"Arrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"
If you have more pirate jokes, please email them to us!